Rate them on impact..
Stacked up, back breaker
Weights, on shoulders ..
Rate them on impact
After look into mirror's image
Do tell what is seen,
Like a shrink's answer to be given
Now, now, no lie , scouts honour "forbids"
Words are like manifestations
Of the sub-conscience, tinkering thinkable
Drumming realisation in the mind
Awaking your sleeping thoughts
Procrastination is the fault line
Stagnated manage(d) in ambitions crust,
Lazy town, lazy you, lazy me,
Playing mind games, on couch "potatoes"
Who is next in line,
In role calls,
Of enemies listed,
Rating on impact
Now, now, show all fingers
Cross non, on your behind
Scouts honour,
No don't lie
Wow, that's a thinker ... fun!
ReplyDeleteObserving Life, The Poetry Bin, Christian Resource and Information Directory, Life in Thailand, zēteō hodós - Seeking After The Way - The thoughts and considerations of one man seeking to know God more, legō zōē - Speaking of Life - Musing about life and the situations life brings. Experiencing the good and the bad ...
A powerful piece! Name calling is the worse thing to forget. I can relate to this so well... my son deals with "bullies" at school who are in his boy scout den. Go figure!
ReplyDeleteVery powerful poem.
ReplyDelete"Procrastination is the fault line
ReplyDeleteStagnated manage(d) in ambitions crust,
Lazy town, lazy you, lazy me,
Playing mind games, on couch "potatoes"
Nice. Cheers.
So many vices lined up in this piece.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.kimnelsonwrites.com/2011/05/11/words-daggers-and-swords-petite/
Wow, this piece is very dynamic!
ReplyDeleteAwaking your sleeping thoughts - sticks out to me and the bit about procrastination.
ReplyDeleteGood write!
The poem goes nicely most of the time and is indeed powerful. There are a few things that should be changed though "Words are like manifestations
ReplyDeleteOf the sub-conscience" it is too abstract and you loose some power with that. The Egyptian pyramid looks like from another planet, almost, in any case not from this poem.
Lazy town, lazy you, lazy me,
Playing mind games, on couch "potatoes"
These are the best lines in the poem.
With all the "mistakes" it was a pleasure to read your poem.
Take care and all the best!
Oh this is powerful Kodjo!
ReplyDelete