Contradictions on route

I am a contradiction of two ways, two souls  
I am passionate warm and cold at it 
Religious with rage, I am a fanatic on a course 


Focused on confusion confusion on focus 
I am squeamish, full of bleed, bathed in blood 
Loved and hated, for the same reason  to give 


I would take a stand firm, a stand on wobbly grounds 
And fear the consequences like a scary movie 
I would fear outcomes, like a coward to face 


I would jump off planes, yet not be suicidal 
I am always ready, yet petrified of the route 
The end in sight, seen on distance lands, so near 


I  would fear change, but drawn like a calling 
My fingers would shake, from my heart beat on erratic 
But I will grab firm on hooks with sweaty palms 


With journeys on trains, hanging on sides, fast to destinations 
I would hold firm, until the end, fearing I may fall 
Enjoying the breeze,  surfing the winds that threaten fall


I will know,  on this journey, I will know 
That contradiction would follow me 
Through this journey, with fear and joy  


Until the end of routes, where journeys end  
To appreciate the turbulence of passage 
In the process of accomplishment 


I would be brave and a coward 
Knowing fear is just a part of the process 
I would be focused, yet fear, for I am only human 

I am at War

If man had all and wanted none
Would the world know peace 
Or "yawn" on bordom 

Is war, peace and perfect 
All not made of the same concept 
Of falseness in it pure form, as absolute 

Can their meaning in deed ever exist 
Or will "dull "(ness) be the end result
Watching paint dry

For in war alliance are formed 
And in peace compromises are reached 
On strategy or desire, interchanging

Which always tips the balance of scale
To one party's favour over the other in equilibrum
As nature sees fit, like t' mount of grain on breeze 

Is our infinite "race " thirst  for satisfaction
Then not the only aspect of our lives
That can be considered perfect 

In infinite state of hunger and need
That it remains perpetual in perfect form 
Forming our greatest strength 

Is our greatest strength, of raw indulgence   
Not married to our greatest weakness 
The very definition of  being human 

Yet life is not as simple as that 
As we are, again gifted with  mystery 
And beyond what rational can justify 

Our selfishness made to crave companion 
Of recognition which in it self 
Staying in perfect perpetual form of need 

To belong , love, hate, religion, jealousy 
Feeding back into satisfaction 
Like in run race around circles nonstop

I did not set out to make sense of the world
I am too simple for that but only to prove its chaos 
Each feeding into the other, in constant  

In a perpetual need of continuation 
To help define us as human
Perfect in human form of continues need 

Being at war in peace 
Being at peace in war 
If man had all and wanted known