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Friday, 24 May 2013

Brown and Agile Child


Brown and agile child, the sun which forms the fruit
And ripens the grain and twist the seaweed
Has made your happy body and your luminous eyes
And given your mouth the smile of water (Pablo Neruda)

Dying trees, falling leaves, rebellious
Brown and weathered with gravity force pull
Dying bond, loosened tiers decapitated alliance
Brown and agile child, the sun which forms the fruit

The sun has exploded, loosing its form
The rain would only fall in the east, these lines drawn
Protest of family feud, detached with amputated arms
And ripens the grain and twist the seaweed

Out on land similar to others as weed with inversion
Plant but will die from this environment and grain alien
Yet green and wet you will be until the sun
Has made your happy body and your luminous eyes

Dry and empty and now with savage
To taste the blood of all on a platform of scorned
Eager with dead eyes of revenge for vampire thirst
And given your mouth a smile of water 

6 comments:

  1. oo nice...you shortened it up a bit...wicked good kodjo...love the intensity of this...visceral imagery...you rather turned pablo on his head a bit...

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  2. Beautiful weaving with Neruda's word

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  3. You've worked with a most captivating quatrain. I haven't read any Neruda (other than the one linked at dverse), so I feel somewhat ignorant, and will have to do some reading.

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  4. wow. I do like the shorten version of the form. though the wow is more for how much intensity you packed in here. very nicely done.

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  5. A unique experiment on the glosa, shortening the stanzas to quatrains, but what you've done is distilled the thematic exploration into a more intense form. I am also captivated by the twist at the end, changing the entire context of the verses. Well done!

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