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Wednesday, 11 May 2011

An Enemy In Mind

Naming; brandish all your worst enemies..
Rate them on impact..
Stacked up, back breaker 
Weights, on shoulders ..
Rate them on impact


After look into mirror's image
Do tell what is seen, 
Like a shrink's answer to be given
Now, now, no lie , scouts honour "forbids"


Words are like manifestations
Of the sub-conscience, tinkering thinkable
Drumming realisation in the mind
Awaking your sleeping thoughts


Procrastination is the fault line
Stagnated manage(d) in ambitions crust,
Lazy town, lazy you, lazy me, 
Playing mind games, on couch "potatoes"


Who is next in line,
In role calls,
Of enemies listed,
Rating on impact


Now, now, show all fingers
Cross non, on your behind
Scouts honour, 
No don't lie

9 comments:

  1. A powerful piece! Name calling is the worse thing to forget. I can relate to this so well... my son deals with "bullies" at school who are in his boy scout den. Go figure!

    ReplyDelete
  2. "Procrastination is the fault line
    Stagnated manage(d) in ambitions crust,
    Lazy town, lazy you, lazy me,
    Playing mind games, on couch "potatoes"

    Nice. Cheers.

    ReplyDelete
  3. So many vices lined up in this piece.

    http://www.kimnelsonwrites.com/2011/05/11/words-daggers-and-swords-petite/

    ReplyDelete
  4. Wow, this piece is very dynamic!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Awaking your sleeping thoughts - sticks out to me and the bit about procrastination.

    Good write!

    ReplyDelete
  6. The poem goes nicely most of the time and is indeed powerful. There are a few things that should be changed though "Words are like manifestations
    Of the sub-conscience" it is too abstract and you loose some power with that. The Egyptian pyramid looks like from another planet, almost, in any case not from this poem.

    Lazy town, lazy you, lazy me,
    Playing mind games, on couch "potatoes"

    These are the best lines in the poem.

    With all the "mistakes" it was a pleasure to read your poem.

    Take care and all the best!

    ReplyDelete

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