Contradictions on route

I am a contradiction of two ways, two souls  
I am passionate warm and cold at it 
Religious with rage, I am a fanatic on a course 


Focused on confusion confusion on focus 
I am squeamish, full of bleed, bathed in blood 
Loved and hated, for the same reason  to give 


I would take a stand firm, a stand on wobbly grounds 
And fear the consequences like a scary movie 
I would fear outcomes, like a coward to face 


I would jump off planes, yet not be suicidal 
I am always ready, yet petrified of the route 
The end in sight, seen on distance lands, so near 


I  would fear change, but drawn like a calling 
My fingers would shake, from my heart beat on erratic 
But I will grab firm on hooks with sweaty palms 


With journeys on trains, hanging on sides, fast to destinations 
I would hold firm, until the end, fearing I may fall 
Enjoying the breeze,  surfing the winds that threaten fall


I will know,  on this journey, I will know 
That contradiction would follow me 
Through this journey, with fear and joy  


Until the end of routes, where journeys end  
To appreciate the turbulence of passage 
In the process of accomplishment 


I would be brave and a coward 
Knowing fear is just a part of the process 
I would be focused, yet fear, for I am only human